A friend asked me this question not too long back, 'Love....is it a decision or an emotion?' Yes it was a girl. I know what the guys are thinking, 'It had to be a girl, cause only girls would think of stuff like this.' But this led me to put my thoughts down about, what I consider an age old question, Is Love - this feeling, emotion, sentiment that everyone looks for and that can drive people to cry for it, at times spend enormous amounts of money to earn it, do out of the mind stuff to prove it and the list goes on.
From experience, not necessarily with relationships but even on chatting with friends and listening to them I have learned that you cannot really separate them. At first I was from the school of thought that Love is a decision, that's it! I have decided that what it is. But then with time you see more and learn more. I have begun to look at things through others perspectives and I kinda altered my decision, that love may not necessarily be entirely a decision.
Here is what got me thinking. Everyone has been in a place of feeling in love. Note my choice of word, 'feeling'. That is what it begins with. Weather it is your first crush in the 1st std or your first girlfriend in college, you get those feelings of blood rushing to your face when you see the person or when you think of that person a smile shows up on your face and people are wondering what the hell is this guy/girl smiling at?!!! You know what I mean. I have gone through it and in that stage right now. It is a great place to be, really! But, all good things must come to end even those emotions/feelings come to an end. Whether it is the familiarity that breeds between the once upon a time lovey dovey couple or just plain old pressures of life that get in the way, you are suddenly found with another person in your life however with no emotions left for the person. This is the same person who you earlier rode 20or50kms to meet, stayed awake all night talking too and still made it in time for a 5am walk around a lake but yet now there is no emotion of love for the person. Did you make a mistake??!! the answer is a big N.....O.....NO!!!
This is where the 'Decision' kicks in. Yes, I mean it when I say Kicks in. You decided to spend the rest of your life with the person. Again note the choice of word 'Decided' and yes 'You' nobody else but 'You' made that decision. When the decision was made you had feelings of 'Love' no doubt and over time the feelings seem to have gone, however it was noway a mistake. The 'decision' to love is like any other decision, once you decide you need to act on it no matter what the cost. Over time you will take decisions to love the other person. You will take decisions to buy the other person flowers or write them a card telling them how much they mean to you or buying them their favorite ice cream, doing these things doesn't just show the person that you care for them but goes beyond that. It tells them that you are thinking of them when they are not around, that you miss them, that you pay attention to them even when they do not know it. Bottom line it tells them that you 'Love' them. And all of this is out of a 'Decision'. because you decided to love them on a very special day. Yup! YOU. From this you can see that out of the decision comes the feelings. It is a vicious circle that we all belong too whether we like it or not. And I know that I am caught up in it and am not trying the least bit to get out. I think I have found my place and have taken a 'Decision' to love.
As you can see I haven't changed sides, but I am what most people don't like - I am a fence sitter. Sorry people, on this occasion I am going both ways. I believe out of the emotions of love you take a decision to love and it is the decision to love that will enable to bring back the emotions of love when you find them running out.
All the best and what ever you do don't stop loving, the world could always with an over dose of love.
